having one of those nights where i just feel like crying, but yet what is weird to me is the fact that the tears won't come! everything that could have possibly gone wrong in my life has gone wrong, but yet i cant find the tears to actually cry which is actually weird for me, because just last year i used to cry about every little thing that went wrong in my life. although everything that could go wrong has gone wrong, but yet at the sight and sound of me you would believe i am the happiest person in the world...i guess i have always been good at keeping up appearances, but sometimes it gets to be heavy on my heart and tonight is one of those nights where i feel like the loneliest person in the world, i cant talk to anyone about anything without possibly having to tell them everything which is something that i am not comfortable doing, i cannot tell them part of it because they wont understand it unless i tell the whole thing which we have established is impossible for me to do for fear of inviting someone in my life and having them be too close to me.
these lyrics are very specific to the feeling that i am feeling tonight:
pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls closing more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me
The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and
I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me
I carry smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling inside
And nobody knows it but me (yeah)
Lie awake, it's a quarter past three
I'm screaming at night if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me (well, well)
How blue can I get?
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
Billion words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be loving you still
The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and
I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me
Tomorrow morning, I'm a hit a dusty road
Gonna find you, where ever, ever you might go
And I'm gonna load my heart and hope you come back to me
The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and
I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me
although this song is about love, the general message of being in pain and pretending to be okay, is what im feeling! not the actual love part! well thats another story to tell.
hopefully i can sleep tonight later lovies <3 what lovies anyway no one cares but me!
