Beauty

how do you know if you are beautiful? this question really bothers me from time to time as i try to define my beauty? am i pretty? cute? when it comes to these questions i am just mute. some say confidence is the sexiest thing in a woman, but why is it that ppl still care about your body type, or about all the media hype. what are the characterictics of being ugly i ask myself? are there guidelines that you are supposed to follow in order to know whether or not you fit into the beauty box? i am not saying these are the things are primordial in my life but sometimes i need reassurance. i was not raised in a home where beauty was primordial and in a way i grew up thinking that if i am smart then nothing else matters, and i would rather be smart then be pretty anyday, but sometimes those feelings get sawyed in a sea of pretty girls walking all around me, and i start to wonder well do my brain even matter when all people seem to notice are the pretty faces and bodies walking around? do i even exist when surrounded by beautiful women around me? what makes me stand out? if appearnces are the first impression and first impressions are all that really matters, should i spend more time working on my appearance than i do working on my interior? i mean after all people do not notice your interior but after they have admired your exterior. should i even be worrying about all of this? i dont know. how am i supposed to feel worthy when all around me i see faces i would kill to have, bodies i would give any amount of money for. do these questions mean i am not happy with who i am? or the way i look? of course not...i am comfortable in my body but like many people out there, there are things i would love to change about it. in the mean time i am just as confused about the way i am supposed to feel about myself when every moment of my waking day i see someone that i wish i could look like or i am swamped with pictures of beautiful models in a magazine.

Love

this is apparently a big topic, everyone tries to study it, find out about it or at least on some kind of level understand it. everyone wants to be in love at some point in their lives, we all have been crowded with the idea of it since we were little kids, watching movies such as cinderella, depicting a perfectly capable young woman, whose life changing status all depended on her falling in love. we all have grown with the idea that love is this enchanted feeling that you get when you finally meet the person of your dreams. this is why many of us sometimes are dissapointed when we do meet a person and they do not fufill these preconceived notions about love. while some of us are dissaponted by the whole notion when we do finally find out it is a notion, some of us hang on to it for dear life no matter the consequences. don't get me wrong i am not a critic of the notion, i just think it is foolish to somehow over look all the capabilities someone has because somehow they havent found love. there is no denying in the fact that oprah winfrey is a remarkable woman but sometimes all of her achievements are overlooked simply because she does flaunt around the idea of this love notion.
to me love is an emotion just every other emotion that when to the extreme can render you crazy, i have seen many lives destroyed all in the name of love, many people have lost themselves and their dreams in search of it.
as for me, i am not a big fan of love, i mean of course dont get me wrong, it is an "unplanned emotion" and i put quotes around that because in another blog i will discuss my views on free will and our choices and if you can or cannot really choose the one you fall for, but if i happen to find a suitable mate after i have accomplished what i am set to accomplish, then i will not mind falling in love, but as for now i have not yet discovered the importance of it.